Let me Listen

Listening to others who are grieving a loss does not come easily to most of us. Unskilled in accompaniment and uncomfortable in the presence of pain, we tend to offer comfort, or we may instinctively look away. This song is about how to listen and is based on the tenets found in Alan Wolfelt’s Handbook for Companioning the Mourner. While Wolfelt’s intention was to offer guidance for a specific group of listeners, his tenets are also the basis of being a good listener in any situation. The original title of this song “Stay in My Heart” inspired by Wolfelt’s fourth tenet, listening with the heart.

Let me stay in my heart, not go into my head
Let go of judgment and analysis
I’m not responsible for her. I’m just responsible to her.
Let my open heart become a pathway
Through which Divine love is expressed to her
I am a conduit. Let me be ready,
ready to receive her words in my heart.

Our hearts are open, and grace can enter in.
That’s when transformation happens; the work of love within.
Because the heart reveals answers the mind just cannot see.
And that’s the power of listening that happens between you and me.

I’m not the expert here. I’m not the one who knows.
I am a student. I give up control.
I am available to her. I am accepting of her.
If she should open up, if words begin to flow,
‘twould be because, presenting my own soul
Created space, and she felt welcomed.
Her soul ventured forth and soul touched soul.

Our hearts were open, and grace entered in.
Transformation happened; the work of love within.
The heart revealed answers the mind just could not see.
The power of listening happened between you and me.