By Betsy Gonwa, 
Have you ever noticed that questions on surveys can be very limiting? I recently responded to a phone survey. It turned out to be a political survey. As the survey progressed, I grew more and more frustrated because I could only answer the questions within certain parameters. Furthermore, what I considered to be the real issues were not even addressed. Do politicians even want to hear what concerns people? Can they only think inside of their own boxes?
This is not the first time I have had such an experience. I have received such surveys in my mailbox. On paper, it is easy to skip a question, and go on to the next one. But this phone interviewer could not move on to the next question unless I answered. I grew weary. “Very favorable or somewhat favorable,” “very unfavorable or somewhat unfavorable,” “strongly approve or somewhat approve,” “strongly disapprove or somewhat disapprove.” I wanted to answer “other” or “none of the above” or “#1 and #2”. But those answers were not options for her and therefore not for me. Completing the survey was a struggle for us. I felt like a student being given a multiple-choice exam with no right answer to select!
I wondered if the young woman interviewing me felt as frustrated as I did. She was, after all, just trying to do her job: complete the survey. I imagined interviewing me from her point of view. I pictured her as a child at a pegboard. Each one of my answers was a square peg and each survey answer was a round hole. Try as she might, she couldn’t get me to fit. Consequently, neither of us were able to complete the task at hand.
This experience made me curious. Does this kind of communication only surface in political surveys? Or is it more pervasive? How often do I ask limiting questions? How often do I miss hearing what someone wants to say because I am focused only on what I think I might hear? Or worse yet, on what I want to hear? Do I ask questions as if I am conducting a survey, from within a box? Do I think I already know all the possible answers?
As the one being surveyed, I perceived that the one asking the questions did not want to hear my opinion, for my opinion was not among the answers that the survey writer had created. It seemed to me that the survey was designed in such a way that the answers would provide only confirmation or negation of pre-determined opinions.
So, back to my query. Does the way I say things unwittingly limit what I hear? Am I as open as I want to be? Am I really getting to know those I’m interacting with? Those I live with? Those I love? What about you?
