By Betsy Gonwa, 
Accompaniment is not a common vocabulary word for most of us. The concept is well known, though. It is what we mean when we say things like “being there” or “coming alongside.” I first learned the term in the context of mission. It meant that I would not be the one to set the agenda. It meant trusting that others knew what was best for them, and that I did not.
Thus, the first task given to me as missioner was to listen. This involved walking along dusty dirt roads conversing with people I had never met before. It involved waiting and being led. I learned the meaning of accompaniment by accompanying, by experiencing “doing with” rather than “doing for” others. At the time, I did not realize how fundamental a practice accompanying would eventually become for me.
Today, I see parallels between that first experience of accompaniment and how I now experience my present day life. Back then, I uprooted myself and my family, moved to another country, lived among strangers in another culture and communicated in a foreign language. Now, the uprooting takes a different form. It is not physical at all. When I listen to another, I remain in my own country and I speak in my native tongue. Yet, I am like a tourist with a freshly stamped passport, ready to take in the sights and to taste the cuisine.
It may not be apparent that I have been allowed to cross a border, but indeed I have. If someone gives me a glimpse into their world, it is their choice and they also choose whether to let me stay. My chance of hearing the rest of their story also depends on my choices. If I truly want to keep walking on foreign soil, I must let go of my own thoughts and ideas and get to know theirs. This is what I did as a missioner and it is what I choose to do now. Though not as dramatic as packing up my belongings and abandoning hearth and home, it is still a challenge to honor another’s territory and walk in it as it is.
Clearly, I do not need to board a plane in order to be carried into the unknown. The unknown awaits me in any conversation. I need only be open, listen with curiosity, and allow myself the adventure of discovery. For, like an explorer on a journey to where no one has ventured before, I may be in uncharted territory.
Accompanying another is a gift of time and presence. It is much needed in the world today and it is a skill that we can all learn. While for me, the first step in accompaniment was taken along dusty roads in a foreign land, it need not be. It can begin with your next conversation. And it begins with listening.
What about you? Are you ready to let your next conversation take you where it will?
