By Betsy Gonwa, 
On a Sunday, instead of carting my own guitar to church, I decide to play the church’s guitar that is kept in the choir area. I had taken it out and tuned it the previous week, so I know that it’s ready to be played. But when I play, it sounds flat and lifeless. Of course! It needs new strings. The next Sunday, after restringing the guitar, its sound is vibrant, full of energy and life. The change is tremendous. It’s like a new guitar!
Later that week, a window in my house is replaced under warranty. Anticipating a confirming “everything’s good now” experience, I open it. Cold air rushes in, and I close it right away, but even in my haste, I notice that something doesn’t feel quite right. Is something wrong with the window installation? Or am I remembering wrong?
I walk into the next room and open a window, just for the sake of comparison. When I flip the lever that allows the window to slide open, I discover that indeed my body remembers correctly. As I suspected, the levers on the new window that latch it shut are upside down. I’m annoyed. I don’t want one window in my house that opens differently from all the others. I feel disappointed, and then concerned. As I investigate, I notice that the newly installed window does not slide as smoothly as the others. Additionally, there is a lot of play in the window. With each discovery, I am feeling more and more disconcerted. Then, lo and behold, the window comes out in my hands!
As with the guitar strings, something that is new feels different. But this time, instead of a celebratory kind of different, it is a worrisome kind of different. Switching the levers seems fixable, but what about all the other differences? Is the entire window installed upside down? The next morning, I call the company that installed the window and tell them it’s not right. They send Joe.
When Joe shows up, he is full of confidence. After opening and closing the window, he tells me there is nothing wrong. “Sometime in the last ten years,” he explains, “the company changed the way the levers are installed. They can be reversed.” He takes out a screwdriver and in a jiffy they are just like the levers on the windows in the rest of the house! As for the rougher slide, well, the windows no longer just slide, plastic against plastic. Now they have wheels. He shows me the wheels. He then lubricates the wheels and the window frame, and the window slides more easily. As for the window coming out of the frame, it is supposed to do that. The other windows used to, too. They have just settled. A confident technician, and my body is feeling relaxed. With an explanation for the differences, trust and understanding have returned.
Sometimes a feeling of something being new and different or “not quite right” is rooted in my spirit. At times, like the guitar with old strings, I have felt dull and lifeless, in need of being re-energized. A walk in nature, a retreat, or a change in spiritual practice have rejuvenated me at those times. At other times, like the updated version of my window, I have felt unsettled, no longer at ease in the frame of my own life. At those times, I have needed to dig deeper. I might do this on my own or I might consult with a friend or a trained listener. Eventually I may discover that the “different” feeling is because I am an updated version of myself, and everything is just fine.
When your body lets you know that something is different, do you pay attention? What do you do?
