By Betsy Gonwa, 
Our culture is one that believes in doing. Get up and go. Make things happen. Movers and shakers get the kudos. As a child, I learned to push through and keep going. No matter what. Tired. Sad. Angry. Discouraged. Hurt. None of my human emotions were allowed importance. Push through. Keep going. Achieve. Excel!
Inner turbulence was to be solved by doing something to fix it. My well being depended on believing that I could make a difference for myself and even for others. And so that became my modus operandi — make a difference – and a Helper with a social justice wing and an achiever wing came into being. I changed everything outside myself to feel calm inside myself.
I learned these skills to survive in my world. After many years of unlearning, I do just the opposite now. Instead of pushing through, I practice being still and listening. I stop moving and pay attention to what my body is telling me. And now, in this time of COVID-19, our entire society is learning this. With very serious consequences for moving about.
The last week in February and the first week in March, when all this was ramping up in China and Europe, and there was concern about the spread of coronavirus, I was in my own inner turmoil. I could describe my reality with the old phrase, “The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.” Until, finally, I knew the solution was to stop. Just stop. And I focused. My hands on my heart.
The truth came to me when I got up from my chair to walk somewhere in the house to do something. Changing what’s out there will not change anything inside is the message I heard in my head. And I turned around and walked back to my chair. To be still.
