By Betsy Gonwa, 
Some books are easier for me to read than others. I remember a couple books that I could not continue reading on my own because I was too afraid of what might happen. It didn’t matter if it was daylight or dark; if I was alone, I didn’t dare pick up the book. I wanted to know what happened and I didn’t want to know what happened. I solved my anxiety by setting the book aside until my husband was at home. Somehow my feelings were manageable if I wasn’t alone.
In reading, I was aware of my fear, but sometimes I am not even aware that fear is playing a part in my inability to continue to move forward. Have you ever dreaded making a phone call or failed to schedule a doctor’s appointment without really understanding why you were reluctant? Perhaps you even chided yourself for procrastinating, or called yourself lazy. Yet, psychology professor Devon Price believes that laziness does not exist. Instead, he believes that there is always an underlying reason.
Sometimes the reason behind our failure to move is as basic as lack of companionship. I remember a time in spiritual direction when I got to the bottom of something that had eluded me on my own. I was happy and puzzled, too. ““How come I couldn’t get to this point on my own?” I asked my spiritual director. Her answer was that sometimes we need someone to accompany us. Who knew?
These kinds of enlightening discoveries can happen in other ways, too: through science, as in a properly diagnosed medical condition, through family history as with genealogy research, through theological studies, as in discovering a more accurate interpretation of a formerly held belief, and sometimes simply through the wisdom of hindsight.
When I discover something new, I find myself re-visiting my original story, with editing pen in hand. Just as the reveal at the end of a mystery novel makes everything clear, new discoveries allow for new understanding. These kinds of journeys of discovery can help us to craft a new truth from which to live.
Do you have any half-read books on your shelf? Or, are there books that you have left unopened? Might a companion help you to open a book and read it through to the end?
