Grief is the natural response to any loss.
Mourning is acknowledging our loss and expressing our grief.
A companion is one who accompanies us as we mourn our loss.
Loss: There are many kinds of losses. A loss can involve anything that gives meaning, purpose or direction to our lives. Any change can be experienced as a loss. There are tangible losses such as the death of a person, loss of a body part, robbery, theft, or loss of a home. There are losses of relationships, caused by divorce, job loss, or moving to a new community. We also experience intangible losses when we have to let go of hopes, dreams, or expectations.
Grief: We can’t avoid grieving our losses. Grieving is not optional. Grief is a journey that does not have a beginning, a middle or an end. Everyone’s journey is unique, for each of us grieves in our own way. There is no closure to grief. Grief can only be transformed.
Mourning: Grieving happens to us, but we get to choose the way we mourn. We mourn when we acknowledge and honor our losses. When we bear a loss and never choose to mourn it, we carry our grief. When grief comes to the surface, it is saying, “deal with me.” It is never too late to mourn unattended grief.
“As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform anyone else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.” –Eckhart Tolle
Companionship: As a grief support companion, I seek to create a listening space for the bereaved and to accompany them on their journey to make sense of what does not make sense. I explore with them ways to express their grief, and help them recognize how they need to mourn.
Resources
Healing your Heart. On Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam interviews Lucy Hone. She studied resilience and applied what she learned to her personal experience of grief. She debunks the theory that we progress through stages of grief, and instead validates that grief is not orderly but messy and that we all grieve in our own ways. She also shares tools that helpled her through the grieving process.